by Torri Singer
You know the guy (or girl). The one you spot emerging from the bathroom stall, the one you make awkward eye contact with–and eventually even more awkward small talk with–but who manages to slip out of the door without ever having made soap-to-hand contact.
Take note, Unhygienic Rare Hand Washers out there, this is gross. You’re the one we fear when we reach for door knobs around the globe. You are to blame for the universal fear of bar peanuts (statistics do say that 70% of people don’t wash their hands after using the restroom…shudder) that has caused the rest of us to go hungry while waiting for our nachos and hot wings, because taking a dive into that bowl is just asking for a disease or two. Personally, beyond just being downright skeeved out by this not-ok habit, I have become increasingly concerned for my health. Come now, URHW, haven’t you heard that its flu season? And with the swine on the loose, there’s even less of an excuse for you not scrubbing down your digits.
The URHW really is everywhere, so germaphobes of the world, beware. The URHW lurks in an office building environment, where hand shaking is the norm, they thrive in the school environment where hand-sneezers and coughers exchange pencils and books by the hour, and I’m not even sure I’d like to know how prevalent they are in the fast food industry…(eat at your own risk!).
A note for the rest of us HHWs (hygienic hand washers) out there: guard yourself from that amateur chef friend of yours who happens to be an URHW and decides to prepare you a meal, then proceeds to sample the progression of his meatball surprise with his index finger before serving it up. Take caution. Long story short, if I find myself in a bathroom with a URHW any time soon, I’ll be sure to give him/her a piece of my mind, and perhaps a bar of soap or two. And don’t even think you can Purell your way out of this one. Nice try, though.