Six Types of Prom Dates

by Stephanie Russo

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 We see them at any school dance; the quintessential couples or singletons that we define as part of the archetypal high school experience.  Prom would not be the same without them, and one of them may very well apply to you…

 The Couple

Why, yes, it is duct tape!

 

Everyone knows who they are; walking in the halls with their hands in each other’s pockets, sharing lockers, carpooling to and from school, and tend to be very open to public displays of affection.

They are “The Couple.”  Prom is the highlight of their year; there they can strut together in their matching hot pink dress and tuxedo.  Beware of a fight over prom table choices; they might not talk for a whole twelve hours, a devastating tragedy.

If you’re friends with one, make sure you’re there for them during this trying time.  Although most of the time we’re disgusted by the amount of love they have for each other, deep down we’re all a little envious that they have a predetermined prom date.

Oh, and make sure to never dance with either one at prom… bad things will happen…

Best friends from John Hughes' "Pretty in Pink"

The Best Friends

 Everyone knows they’re perfect for each other. People are constantly writing on their Forsmsprings asking why they don’t date. Yet, all we know is that,  

“We are super close, but I would never jeopardize our friendship for that! He’s like my brother! Please stop asking about this!!! >=( Ugh! ”

So, obviously, they are going to prom together as “friends”… yeah, okay.

 

The Awkward Date

  

This just doesn't seem right...

 

They’ve just been that person that sits behind you in physics class for the past seven months. You may have asked them for some homework help or for the time, but you never thought twice about them. Then out of the blue they’re asking you to prom. Of course you say yes; they’re really nice and it takes a lot of guts to ask someone out.

Then you’re to prom, and things get… awkward.  

First, they fumble to put on your corsage, causing half the petals fall off. While dancing, they distance themselves a good three feet from you, yet somehow find a way to stomp on your feet and elbow you in the face. And as you go to the bathroom to fix your bow tie or bandage your blisters from your spike heels, they follow you like a lost puppy, waiting at the door when you exit your temporary sanctuary.  

When you look back on it in ten years, you’ll be laughing.

 

 

one man wolf pack

The Soloist

  

This species roams the dance floors of the prom alone. They’re all about having a good time; the drama of getting a prom date repels them from the entire dating scene. You’ll see The Soloist sashay in their outrageous outfit, which may include (but is not limited to), sequins, blinding colors, feathers, plaid, ruffles, giant flowers, roller skates, and attire made of duct tape. As much as The Soloist loves being an independent and free spirit, they love the company of their friends, so don’t forget to boogey down with them!

 

Same Sex Date

 

A perfect Charie's Angels photo op

 

Whether you prefer dating the same sex or simply abhor the process of finding a date of the opposite gender, going with a Same Sex Date is always a great option.

These couples are loved and expected at prom. They can be found dancing the monkey to Lil’ Wayne or making potions out of soda and food condiments. So keep an eye out for this species; you’ll easily catch their bubbly vibe.

The Empty Seats

This is the friend who doesn’t want to spend the money, just broke up with their significant other, hates dresses and tuxes, or simply just doesn’t want to go to prom.

You’ll spot them alone in a corner, stationary long legs, stiff back, cold without someone’s polyester clad bottom to keep them warm. The poor dear, you should probably go over and comfort them, but you’d look really weird sitting in a corner all alone.

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One Response to “Six Types of Prom Dates”

  1. Suzanne Biga Says:

    Hmmm! Unchanged by time, all of these species existed way back in MY day, too…very funny! Great job, Stephanie! p.s. Love the one-man wolf pack 🙂 Mrs. Biga


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