by Devan Cappelli
Tropical button downs, cargo shorts and big straw hats….gee I wonder where they’re going for the holidays. I bet its grandma’s…no, wait, I know. Florida, maybe even California.
Are you one of these people who shows up at the airport on Christmas morning in shorts and flip flops? Well, then that goes to show how much you love the holidays and winter. Instead of your own snow at your own home with your own Christmas tree, you’d rather go away to some other place that isn’t comfortable, containing the perfect tree you have picked than decorated all with love and care.
“Showing up to the Four Seasons is just what the doctor ordered” is what you are probably thinking as you lay on the neatly made bed with the towel animal loyally waiting for you. All while you’re looking out your window at the beautiful view of the pool, accompanied with hundreds of little children running, screaming and splashing in it.
Ahhh relaxing. Later you’re going to hit the beach and only put one layer of sunscreen on, then slowly fall asleep to the sound of the waves crashing. Then you wake up about an hour later to discover you are the color of a tomato. Fantastic!
Hobbling back to your hotel room, you look for a good restaurant that doesn’t cost a boatload of money. Instead, you enter your room with the floral wallpaper and tiny fridge containing $5.00 peanuts. Don’t eat them. In fact, don’t even touch them…or look at them. So you pick up the phone and call room service. Forty-five minutes later, you get a knock that says, “I don’t want to be working on the holidays serving your lazy butt just for a cheap tip.” After the food is placed where you want it you open the tin lid and find a nice, cold burger with the side of stale fries and room temperature soda. Delicious.
Later that night you decide that a shower seems like a good idea. You start the water, trying to get it at a reasonable temperature, but of course that’s impossible with everyone else in the hotel showering at the same time. Once you’ve found a worthy temperature you go to wash your hair…and oh, look! A convenient tiny bottle of shampoo and body wash. Exiting the shower you now grab the towel about the size of you hand to dry off…wonderful!
Checking out that morning is always the best part, when you are behind everyone in the world waiting for the same one checkout counter. Then you wait again for a taxi to the airport. Finally landing back home, don’t you feel relaxed! Hope you have a great time next year traveling for the holidays…Maybe next year you’ll wizen up and stay at home!