(An Anonymous Submission)
Why did our friendship dissolve? Why is it that friends like us penetrate each others minds until the other one can’t take it anymore and finally explodes? Why is that when we are together we can laugh and cry? The question that you asked me and I never answered screams at me every night as I lay awake in bed thinking of our memories. The question you asked me is plain and simple yet every time I think of it, I have flashbacks that cause tears to sting my face. The question you asked me that I never got a chance to answer, I’m going to answer now.
I sat upon your bed staring outside as I saw rain drip from the sky, like the tears that began falling from my face. I watched as you swiftly made your way across your room and onto your bed. Your crystal blue eyes breaking through the barriers that I always put up to avoid getting hurt.
“Do you have an answer Jackie?” her voice echoed in my head. I nodded but didn’t make a sound. My heart rate began to slow down and every motion I made was drawn out.
I looked up at her weary face and wondered if she was as nervous and heart broken as I was. If she felt the pain I felt of loosing her, a girl close enough to me to be my sister. Her question rung through my mind like bells that jingled during Christmas time.
“Why can’t we just be acquaintances?” Acquaintances? I wanted to scream. We have been best friends for years and you just want to be acquaintances? Instead, I got up off of her purple bed and quickly made my way down the dark stairway. I jumped out the door and sprinted back to my house. My clothes were as soaked and as tight as my mind had felt.
As I approached my house, I picked up a stick and broke it in half, watching as the stick rolled out of my shaking hands and onto the ground. I ran up to my room and slammed my door shut. Boom, crack, shatter. The picture of us had made those sounds as they hit the floor. Forever laying vulnerable and wounded.
You had asked me why we couldn’t just be acquaintances. Well, here is your answer, if we had remained acquaintances I wouldn’t be able to bear the fact of seeing your future fall apart. I wouldn’t be able to watch as you tried things you shouldn’t have. I couldn’t have watched as you threw yourself all over each guy that came your way. I wouldn’t be able to watch the transformed you.
Acquaintances is what we were meant to be in the end. Although we aren’t even, there is a spot in my heart that lays vulnerable and wounded forever.