by Kelsey McCauley
Dear Charlie Sheen,
In the past two weeks your face has been an inescapable presence on my television. And as attractive as you think you are, it’s really starting to get annoying.
The quotes from your webcam have fascinated so many people and turned you into an overnight phenomenon. However, all it does for me is make me ask: “What is the world coming to?” I understand that you just got fired from your TV show Two And A Half Men which made you $ 2 million every episode, but PLEASE get help! You don’t want to known as the actor that says you are “winning” or that you have “tiger blood,” and the two women living in your house known as “the goddesses” seem very nice, but face it, they are just using you.
I also heard you were doing a gig in New York City, which got horrific reviews. Your doing an “ok” job for a person who just lost his job. But you’re definitely not a good role model for your children, who would probably agree with me that you need some serious help…
So please, Charlie, we would all like to see you winning in rehab.