An Open Letter to Prom

by Brooke


Dear Prom,

I hate you.

If it wasn’t for you, I would be content right now. I might have been blissfully ignorant before you came around; however, I was happy.  Now I’m fully aware that nobody loves me and I’ll never get a date. Even Suzy got asked… and nobody likes her. My mom and my friends told me I should ask someone. Worst advice ever!

I’d rather not go at all, which doesn’t seem like a bad plan. But seriously whatever, at least I know now all my guy friends deceived me when they promised to go with me. Thanks, boys. Have fun with the lowerclassmen girls.

Maybe if I didn’t break up with Mike or Dan I would have a prom date. Because Mike’s taking Suzy and Dan is taking Jen. But maybe Mike should have answered my texts and calls. It’s possible that he was sleeping whenever I texted him at noon on a school day, and he claims he doesn’t use his phone at school, but still. He should have answered my texts because I should have been his top priority.  Well, have fun at prom with Suzy. And Dan should have come straight over and killed the spider in my room when I asked him to, but no, he had football practice. Lame excuse.  Joke’s on you; Jen can’t dance.

Nothing like a little prom drama...

And this was all before the day of the prom.  The day of was just as bad. Taking pictures was possibly the worst experience of my life. It was downright traumatic. I don’t mean to get all Holden Caulfield dramatic on you, but traumatic may not even be strong enough a word.  Everyone took couple pictures as I stood alone. At least some girls pitied me and told their prom dates to stand with me. Or, in hindsight, maybe that was worse? There was catering at the house where we took pictures. The food looked gourmet and I couldn’t eat it. My stupid dress was way too tight.

But taking pictures was sill infinitely better than you, Prom.

We all arrived at the fancy hotel, our prom locale, on time. I walked in alone, of course. Okay, well, not completely alone; I walked in with my friends. But still, dateless. At this point I was almost satisfied being dateless. All those weird couples made me sick. One couple could not control their public displays of affection.  That was not enjoyable to watch.

Of course, there was one couple that would not get off of the dance floor. They danced the same way the whole time. Even during the fast dances, they remained slow dancing. I don’t know how they didn’t get dizzy. 

As for the girl drama, there was even a near-physical fight. Two girls wore the same dress. Oh no, their worlds are over. Just kidding they could not have it worse than me because I was the one without a date. One was more teal while the other was blue. They started laughing and gossiped together the rest of the evening. I hate girls. But, it’s mainly your fault, prom, for making them even crazier.

The worst part is you made a fool out of me. Despite my attempt to remain completly mad and bitter, I found that you were kind of fun. Most of my friends weren’t even with their dates during the night. I didn’t turn into Carrie White and attack everyone with mind powers. We all hung out and danced. Even post prom was nice because I got to take off that stupid dress and put comfortable clothes on. I stuffed my face with all the food and refreshments. 

But you are over now, until next year. Maybe I won’t complain about you so much when I’m a senior. But I doubt it; I probably still will.

See you next year,

Prom (Lover?) Hater


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