Dear Mother Nature,
Honestly, thank you so much for selflessly providing everything anyone could possibly hate about weather into one season this winter.
That must be very hard to do, so props to you. Now I can confidently say that the expression “things could not possibly get any worse” is completely false. I’m not exactly sure what your intentions were, whether you are saving it all for summer or actually wanted to increase the world’s depressed population this winter, but either way, you succeeded. One can only hope that the warm weather has not run out, because at this rate they might as well keep the names of the seasons interchangeable; a straightforward sinter or wummer could work.
The winter of 2011-2012, with regards to the New England area, was downright pathetic. Theories of global warming must be confirmed at this point as the change in weather from the winter of 2009-2010 was just unrealistic. It began in October with an unexpected brief snowstorm that hit the Northeast by surprise. Trick-or-Treaters found themselves wading through slush and awkward piles of snow.
However, once temperatures rose slightly and rain began to wash away the shocking dusting, we could only expect a harsh winter to come, right? Wrong. Three more solid months of autumn would have to first stroll by before any remnants of what we once knew as winter would make another appearance.
You see, Mother Nature, that is the problem: I don’t even know what winter is any more. It always used to be the enjoyable season where the cold temperatures outside made spending time with others feel warmer. I thought winter was the time when children wore their pajamas inside out and backwards, and could spend all snow day outside in the fresh powder. But this year, Mother, winter was none of these things. Winter was too cold to enjoy without any snow, and when it wasn’t cold, it felt like spring (which, admit it, is a giant tease). Last winter, the piles of salted snow in parking lots all over the Tri-State area didn’t melt until mid-March, while this year the small storms we got melted within two days.
As stated by the Farmer’s Almanac, the weather for winter 2011-2012 was “unusually cold and stormy.” So for some, this meant a frigid climate; while for others, it will mean lots of rain and slush. So can you explain yourself, Mother? Is it all of this “end of the world” nonsense that’s been buzzing around, because it is not directed towards you, I swear. All we are asking is for a nicer way to spend what is supposed to be the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” because honestly, this winter was not all that wonderful.
Better luck next year,