An Open Letter to Pollen

by Doug

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Dear Pollen,

Thank you so much for the warm welcoming to a horrific spring.

Not.

You gave me a real wakeup call on the first day of spring when I woke up to see a lot of pollen all over my car. You could have at least given me some kind of warning when you are resting on what looks like a bright green Easter egg. I am highly allergic to you and I would really prefer it if I didn’t bump into you every morning so I don’t come to school sneezing like a banshee down the halls.

More importantly, however, is this: why are you here? You honestly have no reason whatsoever to even be here. I mean from a community standpoint you are not really welcome. A warning would have been a lot nicer instead of ramming your ugly head up my nose which causes me to sneeze to a point where I am completely unable to control it.

Congrats to you, I suppose.  On what, you ask?  Your ability to make me and a bunch other people around our community wake up feeling like complete garbage every single morning. Next year if you decide to come and visit at least try to give everyone around here some kind of brief little memo or something to keep us from getting sick from you once again because it is really starting to become a real pain buying Nazonex every single week.

Fondly,

Sneezy

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Picture: http://media.treehugger.com/assets/images/2011/10/pollen-helps-allergies-phot.jpg

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